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Dumbiest question you have been asked about sat box / cs (sticky)

satmanUK

satmanUK

TK Veteran
thought for a laugh, have a list of the funniest things you have been asked about sat boxes or card sharing via email or pm


a few over 5 years i have had

  1. so my telewest box just goes onto the sat dish right?
  2. i was told you would not seen any cables in my house ( my reply, the invisible cable is extra and is cable, its non invisable }
  3. can you get usa tv on my sky box

---------- Post Merged at 04:20 PM ----------

i want a 3 year line and if goes down before that, im reporting you to ebay lol
 
Here's a great one asked by one of my customers-----

Dear Reaper.
I purchased a new Dreambox 500S from your shop so that I could receive S** in my flat, well sir, I wish to return the said box for a full refund because it doesn't work when plugged into my indoor antenna. My Freeview box works ok so haved proved it's not the aerial. These Dreamboxes are c***. I shall be at your shop on Monday and I expect my money back.
T. Davis.


[This was such a classic----I refunded because I couldn't convince the numpty that he needed a sat dish and other bits to receive his wants]

Regards.
Reaper
 
And here's another----

A lady and her son [around 20] came to the shop to purchase a "Skybox F3S" no problem.
I am actually blind [90% loss of vision], anyway I got my son to show the box and explain its workings.
The pair seemed quite taken by the little toy until my son got to the "blind scan", the lady said in a loud voice so that all could hear--"isn't it wonderful what they do nowadays for the disabled" [blind] and her brain tech minded son said to my son "I'd prefer a satellite box that lets us all watch TV as there aren't any blind people in our family"
After a lot of coughing and spluttering my boy sold them a Dreambox 500S with all set up instructions etc.
Now wait for it------that boy is actually on this forum [no names] and says he's going to kill me [only joking] if I put this up.
Regards.
reaper.
 
I got called down to a house after sorting a new line on a box and he just picked it up and plugged it in again at his flat after it being off for months.
He said he couldnt get working. So went down to find he had no hdmi or scart cable plugged in and thought it didnt need one.
And.... he cut one end of his dual feed cable so he'd know which one to use.... problem was he cut the wrong feed. Yhat was hr wasted.
Same day my Da rings me giving off ' this things crap it just wont work or even turn over!'
After 20 mins on phone he was using wrong remote.....
And finally today got called 20miles to spend 10 seconds hitting source button on tv....... people are stuuuupid!! Lol
 
sucmnsee said:
I got called down to a house after sorting a new line on a box and he just picked it up and plugged it in again at his flat after it being off for months.
He said he couldnt get working. So went down to find he had no hdmi or scart cable plugged in and thought it didnt need one.
And.... he cut one end of his dual feed cable so he'd know which one to use.... problem was he cut the wrong feed. Yhat was hr wasted.
Same day my Da rings me giving off ' this things crap it just wont work or even turn over!'
After 20 mins on phone he was using wrong remote.....
And finally today got called 20miles to spend 10 seconds hitting source button on tv....... people are stuuuupid!! Lol
Click to expand...

That's the buisness your in I'm afraid. Once you take peoples money they think they own you. Hardly worth the profit in a lot of cases.
 
Now I've been forced to retire due to my heart attack, loss of sight etc, I still like to keep my hand in this hobby and try to help others understand it.
I don't charge for my "knowledge" so no profit but I've found that I have to have a good sense of humour and also bite my tongue when people do or say the dumbest things. I have just been given a usb key from a local client [it arrived in the post yesterday] he wants me to installa "root"on the key so that he can then put a file onto it. Please don't laugh--it's a serious requestROFL But then to cap it all--I have a dumb blonde called the wife [my Maltese friend Gemeosat on here will confirm her lack of brain] she spent 20 mins trying to change channels on a dreambox with a S** remote even changing the batteries, so just smile and swallow, the idiots abound.
Reaper.
 
Not so much a question but still a head banger. At a customers house and was trying to express the importance of buying a pen drive (what are they, £1.99 on ebay) for backup and updates etc. To which she replied "Not bothering with all that, i'll just buy another box".

I'm all for repeat custom!!!
 
Years ago when HD TV first came out, some people thought everything on it was HD. even when connected with a scart lead.

I took my ibox 2+ to show a friend,..told him about the HD channels going,
he said its ok my TV is HD...that was just a few weeks ago.
 
i was telling my friend how good the skybox was , all sky sports, movies , box office and even 3D, so my friend bought one on, he phoned me a week later and said i can get all the stations except the 3d ones the screen is split in two. I asked ''Have you got a 3D telly'' the reply was ''do i need one to get 3D!!''
 
hahahahhahahahah

just got this on skype

[10:21:46] username: someone mentioned to me an HDMI splitter is able to help get HD working, can you confirm this???
[10:22:13] username: so how do you get around the card pairing to read the hd channels? I read some where a powered hdmi splitter would work?
 
Not sure if this was genuine enquiry or someone messing about, but a question from the maplin site (with regards to a satellite finder/signal strength meter):


  • [h=4]P*** G****** said:[/h]Do i have to use this during daylight hours so the satellite can see me?



Not quite on topic, but tickled me anyway!
 
last night from a member here who was on about blue button fav list ( guessing is a vu or like )


" how do i know if i have a vu ?"

jesus , you brought the box, not me


loads over the last few days on pm, sorry to say some are over the POND and cant seem to read the queens English.
soon as i type in chav and cut words out, then get it?
 
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