firsthand
VIP Member
An Irishman and a woman arrive at a relationship therapist’s office and explain that they are having trouble with their intimate matters. After some discussion, the couple make it clear that they would like it if the doctor would be willing to observe them in the act, something he reluctantly agrees to do. After the first session, he assures them that everything seems to be fine, charges them his €50 fee and sees them off on their way.
He’s surprised when, the next week, the distressed couple show up again, insisting he give them a second opinion. As he has already accommodated them once, he agrees, and after the second session he again assures the couple that everything is certainly working as it should, charges them his €50 fee and bids them goodbye.
When the couple show up the next week he begins to suspect there’s something odd going on. He confronts the man, who finally confesses,
“Well, doctor, my girlfriend is married, so we can’t be together at her house. I am as well, so my place is out of the question. The TravelLodge charges €127 a night and the local hotel €175. Here we can safely be together, it only costs €50 and I get €43 of that back from the VHI!”
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There was an Irish family who wanted very much to have a baby. They were poor, but they did what they could to buy vitamins and folic acid and all the things a mother needs to bear a healthy child. They were delighted when they conceived, but when they went for their first scan the doctor could see something was very wrong – the child was only a head.
Nevertheless he came to full term and, miraculously, despite his lack of a body, he was born otherwise healthy. He needed a lot of help, but he was everything to his parents and their boy prospered, despite his condition.
On his 18th birthday his father tucked him under his arm and proudly walked down to his local pub. Setting his boy down on the bar, he turned toward the barman,
“Two pints of stout!” he ordered, proudly.
The pints came and the father lovingly helped his son drink his first beer as a legal adult. Suddenly, the head began to shake and *pop* a neck appeared beneath his boy’s head.
Amazed, the father quickly ordered his son another pint. He poured it into him and *pop* a set of shoulders appeared. Another pint and *pop* an arm! Another and *pop* a second arm!!
Now the boy could drink for himself he continued to order pints of stout while the bar gathered around and cheered him on. *pop*! *pop*! In rapid succession the rest of his body appeared and, after drinking 12 pints he was whole! With everyone cheering, he ran around the place naked. Sure – he was completely unused to his new body but elated nonetheless!
With the cheers of the bar he became so excited he ran outside and into the road where he was struck by a truck and killed instantly.
A few days later, after the funeral, an older man was having a few drinks at the same bar when he asked the bartender,
“Did you hear about the young fella who was only a head? Isn’t that a terrible thing happened to him!”
“Ah, said the bartender, sadly wiping a glass, “he shoulda quit while he was a head!”
He’s surprised when, the next week, the distressed couple show up again, insisting he give them a second opinion. As he has already accommodated them once, he agrees, and after the second session he again assures the couple that everything is certainly working as it should, charges them his €50 fee and bids them goodbye.
When the couple show up the next week he begins to suspect there’s something odd going on. He confronts the man, who finally confesses,
“Well, doctor, my girlfriend is married, so we can’t be together at her house. I am as well, so my place is out of the question. The TravelLodge charges €127 a night and the local hotel €175. Here we can safely be together, it only costs €50 and I get €43 of that back from the VHI!”
...........................................................................................................................
There was an Irish family who wanted very much to have a baby. They were poor, but they did what they could to buy vitamins and folic acid and all the things a mother needs to bear a healthy child. They were delighted when they conceived, but when they went for their first scan the doctor could see something was very wrong – the child was only a head.
Nevertheless he came to full term and, miraculously, despite his lack of a body, he was born otherwise healthy. He needed a lot of help, but he was everything to his parents and their boy prospered, despite his condition.
On his 18th birthday his father tucked him under his arm and proudly walked down to his local pub. Setting his boy down on the bar, he turned toward the barman,
“Two pints of stout!” he ordered, proudly.
The pints came and the father lovingly helped his son drink his first beer as a legal adult. Suddenly, the head began to shake and *pop* a neck appeared beneath his boy’s head.
Amazed, the father quickly ordered his son another pint. He poured it into him and *pop* a set of shoulders appeared. Another pint and *pop* an arm! Another and *pop* a second arm!!
Now the boy could drink for himself he continued to order pints of stout while the bar gathered around and cheered him on. *pop*! *pop*! In rapid succession the rest of his body appeared and, after drinking 12 pints he was whole! With everyone cheering, he ran around the place naked. Sure – he was completely unused to his new body but elated nonetheless!
With the cheers of the bar he became so excited he ran outside and into the road where he was struck by a truck and killed instantly.
A few days later, after the funeral, an older man was having a few drinks at the same bar when he asked the bartender,
“Did you hear about the young fella who was only a head? Isn’t that a terrible thing happened to him!”
“Ah, said the bartender, sadly wiping a glass, “he shoulda quit while he was a head!”